A4. Rotring Isograph on paper. Framed. PRICE: 210 GBP

35 Responses to “Family”

  1. carnalis Says:

    oh oh oh

    All sorts of clogs have fallen into place.

    It will be good to have Windy back.

  2. Catofstripes Says:

    I’m glad you don’t have MS. My mum died of it, and so did my paternal Gran spookily enough.

    And, well… you know.

  3. notkeith Says:

    carnalis: Hello! Interesting fact (to me at least): you were the reason I did so much work in biro. Since you were familiar with Windypops and also read Stan’s blog, it was important that I didn’t draw anything that looked like my old stuff or the game might have been up.

    Catofstripes: Sorry. It was something I didn’t want to talk about because, I don’t know. Because of comments like yours. And because I didn’t want to use it as a device to get sympathy for Keith.

  4. Andrew Says:

    Jesus, I’m confused. Having not been reading yours and Bete/Stan/Karl’s blogs all that long I can see I’ve an awful lot of back-reading to do.

  5. antipodeesse Says:

    Very exciting, all these revelations! I so wish I could come to the party. I am stuck in boring old France, poor me.

  6. ceeej Says:

    You didn’t mention the conjoined bit though, I’m really confused now…

    Nice to meet you, next time you’re in the Trafford Centre, if I see you i’ll buy you a coffee..

  7. Anonymouse Says:

    I had the great, great pleasure of meeting Karl (aka Stan) about 10 months ago and can honestly say that that mischief-making, cannabis-smoking, giant of a personality that is Karl is just magnificent – and certainly more lovely than he knows. He has become a dear friend very quickly, and I’ve grown really fond of him. Having read the book, I can see there is so much of Karl in Stan – only Karl is infinitely more lovable.

    I have always known who you were (or were not) and have enjoyed your tweets and artwork – not believing you to be Keith, but knowing you were, in fact, Steve. I feel I’ve had the upper hand all along since you had no idea I knew Karl, nor that I knew who you were.

    I very much look forward to meeting you on Friday, Steve. And I may even lick you! Thank you for the exquisite artwork. Once I have it framed I will let you and Twitland know.

    xx Karl’s Twitter Friend

  8. isabelle Says:

    Blimey, as Old Walter said, ‘oh what a tangled web we weave ‘ and all that. How exciting ! What intrigue ! But I’m glad you’re married with kids and when all’s said and done, your artwork is brill.

  9. marianne Says:


    You know, I never much liked Keith. You, on the other hand, seem lovely.

    Have a lovely time on Friday. Wish I could be there.

  10. Larry Teabag Says:

    Whoever the hell you are, your drawings rock.

  11. Aunty Vy Says:

    Aw bless, what a wonderful world we live in, love it to bits

  12. BeleagueredSquirrel Says:


    Nice to meet you. Hopefully do it properly on Fri.

  13. notkeith Says:

    Andrew: I’m confused too, and I knew all along.

    antipodeesse: Sorry you’re not coming; it would have been lovely to meet you. Stuck in France is surely some consolation.

    ceeej: I doubt you’d have time to buy me a coffee since you’re always SHAMELESSLY flirting with carnalis on Twitter. But very nice to meet you, too. Very intrigued as to where you might work at the Trafford Centre. You’re one of the models they have on the entrance of Hollister aren’t you?

    Anonymouse: Very much looking forward to meeting you too. Worth saying again: really chuffed you like the pic.

    isabelle: Thank you. I’m glad I’m married with kids too. Of course, the upshot of all this is I’m now going to turn into the world’s biggest parenthood bore. I’m already infecting twitter with child-related posts.

    marianne: Why, thank you. I was always a bit unsure about Keith. On the one hand, he was always there for Stan; on the other, he was rather fickle and let others down badly. Feels odd talking about him like this. I’ll get used to it.

    Larry: Cripes. Thank you very much.

    Aunty Vy: It is wonderful sometimes, isn’t it? Yesterday, I felt a bit exposed and stupid, and today I feel quite touched by how lovely everyone’s been.

    Squirrel: Hello! Really glad you dropped by. I owe you an apology. I was quite rude to you a while back when your rather ingenious sleuthing had you closing in on Karl. I’m sorry about that. I’ve always appreciated your comments in the past, and enjoyed reading your blog (particularly the post you did on panic attacks), and I was a bit of an arse. Sorry. Let me buy you a drink on Friday?

  14. Ceeej Says:

    Yeah, you got me, I’m one of the Hollister models, tell you what, next time you visit see if you can work out which one I am and say hi…

    Flirting you say? (whistles innocently, shuffles off)

  15. BeleagueredSquirrel Says:

    Steve, you’re on! This is a massive relief actually, as I’m filled with self loathing and had convinced myself that everybody hated me and I was going to have a really horrible time if I turned up on Fri. I’ll have a pint of something with a preposterous name like Ancient Fart in a Glass if they have it, otherwise Guinness.

  16. carnalis Says:

    If i had twigged, i would have happily been bribed back to silence (with flirts, perhaps). I believe everything i read on the ‘net, so am easily confused.

    Your antidotes were fabulous .. i hope you will write more.

    Did you know that Karl ( i will get used to that name, eventually) stood me up once? pfft.

  17. BeleagueredSquirrel Says:

    What age and flavour are the kids?

  18. carnalis Says:

    what happened to the blind chocolate brown puppy??

  19. Wellington Says:

    Ah, what a lovely photograph. Nice kitchen units too.

    I fell completely for the whole NotKeith ruse. But then, I am rather dim.

    Well done on not having MS, bad luck on living in Burnley, and I hope your dad is okay.

    I’ll happily join the queue to read new posts about your kids and real stuff.

    And I hope you keep drawing and painting.
    Good luck with creating many more non-turds in the future.

  20. notkeith Says:

    Ceeej: It was the shaved chest and suncream-across-the-nose that gave it away.

    Squirrel: You’re on.

    carnalis: Thanks. I will probably write some stuff now since I’m not pretending to be someone else. I believe I may well have been used as an alibi when you were stood up, for which I am sorry. As for Woody the One-Eyed Wonder Dog, he’s very real and is currently hanging round the kitchen hoping for scraps.

    Wellington: I owe you an apology too: sorry. Like I said in the post, I had to maintain the fiction, even in private correspondence. My dad’s fine, thanks for asking. The post I wrote about my fake dad’s heart surgery and recuperation was pretty much all true, apart from the timing. It was the only post I’ve done which garnered some praise for my writing, which is probably quite telling. Glad you’ll still drop by in future. Thank you. (Painting’s framed by the way).

  21. notkeith Says:


    Squirrel again: Two boys and a girl, aged eleven, ten (on Sunday), and three respectively.

  22. BeleagueredSquirrel Says:

    Brill. I look forward to hearing more about them, and swapping parenting tales generally (mine are similar-ish ages).

  23. CET Says:

    wow, i had absolutely no idea. props for keeping this notkeith persona up for so long, and for finally spilling the beans!

    whoever you are, your artwork is brilliant.

    i wish i could be at the party friday, sounds like it’ll be epic.

    have fun!

  24. Tired Dad Says:

    Ah. I was wondering where you’d gone. Welcome back.

  25. notkeith Says:

    Squirrel: It was lovely meeting you on Friday. I thought the whole evening was excellent fun, and spending much of yesterday feeling like I might die was a small price to pay.

    CET: Someone else I owe an apology to. Though you were kind of onto me when you questioned the whole PayPal thing when you bought the painting. Sorry. And thank you.

    Tired: Hello! Worth mentioning (since I’ve gone and called you “arrogant”) that your blog was the reason Windypops existed, really. I was trying to emulate your anecdotal style. Not very well, but still. So, yeah. Completely your fault. Very much enjoying your stuff since you started posting again.

  26. Karl Says:

    Awwww. All’s well that ends well. Ish.

    Happy birthday to second-born.


  27. MisssyM Says:

    I’m kind of glad you;re married and have kids- Keith did seem like a bit of a loser…a nice loser but a little bit lost. Tell me though- is the dog real? Please tell me the dog’s real. I couldn’t take it if the dog was another Pablo. Making up people is Ok, I suppose but making up animals is just downright sick.

    The Real Misssy M
    (100% genuine)

  28. Duke Orsino Says:

    Oh God. Another one. Something in the water, perhaps.

  29. notkeith Says:

    Hot Karl: Less of your ishes. Thanks for the birthday wishes. x

    MisssyM: Thank you. Woody (real name and everything) is very much real; in fact he’s eating up ice cream that my daughter’s just dropped on the floor as I write this. Keith was a bit of a loser. I never forgave him for his stint as a carpet fitter.

    Duke Orsino: Bless.

  30. BeleagueredSquirrel Says:

    Likewise! I had a bit of an achey-breaky journey home on a train with faulty air conditioning on Saturday and have now got the obligatory London Lurgy, but it was indeed worth it.

  31. Valerie in San Diego Says:

    Yay! You’re you. And you is just fine!

    …And I’m back from the antipodes. Which means I’ll be asking you for more artwork for Grasslimb soon… fair warning!

  32. notkeith Says:

    Valerie: Welcome back! I look forward to doing more work for the lovely Grasslimb.

  33. Duck Says:

    So glad you’ve broken cover. Nice to meet you Steve

  34. CET Says:

    no need to apologize, steve. i questioned the whole paypal thing but i didn’t think for a second it was because you weren’t who you said you were.

    at the end of the day it doesn’t matter whether “NotKeith” or “Steven Williams” was scribbled at the bottom right hand corner of my painting; it’s beautiful!

    sounds like the party was uber fun.

    take care!

  35. notkeith Says:

    Hey, Duck *waves*.

    CET: Take care yourself, and thank you.

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