Carpet Fit

7 Responses to “Carpet Fit”

  1. Selena Says:

    Umm, NotKeith… don’t take this the wrong way but I think it’s missing something too. Namely, the woman! She (HE) kind of looks like Willem Dafoe, with a wig on.

    Carpet fitting, is nothing to be embarrassed over- quite an honorable profession. My friend used to install hardwood floors…that was rough work, down and dirty, and completely respectable. On the other hand, the fact that you’re excited about getting to use a utility knife threw me into a fit of uncontrolled giggles. šŸ˜‰

  2. holly hall Says:

    for your long climb through a nervous break down, and for coming out the other side and rejoining the working world

    i give you a warm and hearty hug ()

    and by all means, draw a riotously joyous woman in a smashing dress.

    and by all means, you can draw her busty with crazy red curly hair.

    just a suggestion šŸ˜‰

    glad you are coming up from the deep end.


    and if I could have another job, I would love to be a drywaller-a very zen type job-with a beginning, middle and end

  3. Wellington Says:

    Not for the first time, Selena is bang on the money. I’ve never used that expression before, but I’m very pleased with the way it came out. So I’ll be sure to use it again (probably with annoying regularity).

    It’s a great picture. I like it a lot. But it’s quite obviously a man. In a wig. (I hope it’s not a portrait of a girlfriend).

    Have you really found a new local drug dealer? Even though you’ve only lived there for about 5 minutes. How very enterprising of you. Interesting to read your analysis of your past year or so. And I can fully appreciate your reluctance to return to ‘a slightly provincial version of your old life’. That’s a great phrase, by the way. Not a patch on ‘bang on the money’, of course, but still great.

    Whatever happened to the landscape painting of Burnley? I was rather looking forward to that one.

    As for suggestions, how about Betsy lording it over all he surveys, growing fat & greedy on the publishing advance and taking full advantage of his new found celebrity status. Perhaps being fed freshly peeled grapes by his bitter, twisted (though much better looking) former best friend.

    Just a fantasy scene, you understand. Bearing no resemblance to reality.

    By the way, being a carpet fitter is a great way of meeting women. Women love newly fitted carpets. Everyone knows that. And you’ll be giving them the newly fitted carpet of their dreams. Just don’t offer to draw their portrait for them. That’ll fuck things up before you even get started.

  4. notkeith Says:

    Selena: I was totally aiming for the androgynous look. Totally.

    Mrs H: “Nervous breakdown” was probably over-egging it somewhat. But – yanno – life changes and all that and everything.

    Wellington: “Bang on the money” is smashing, isn’t it? It beats “slightly provincial version of my old life” hands-down. Calling Rick a drug dealer was perhaps a little too reservoir dogs. He’s more an amiable fuckwit who’s sold me a couple of lumps of poxy resin in the FIVE MONTHS I’ve lived in Mordor.

    The landscape painting of Burnley has a bit of a tale to it which can be summarised thus: I was rather ashamed of it and painted over the whole canvas in green and blue. I might post it for shits ‘n’ giggles.

    As for meeting new women, I’m mainly laying carpet in repossessed sub-standard terraced housing that’s been bought on the cheap and developed on the cheap ready for renting out to housing-benefit claimants. I’m crawling about amid the detritus of angrily upended lives.

  5. catofstripes Says:

    “Iā€™m crawling about amid the detritus of angrily upended lives.”

    Oh splendid. Have you thought of writing? Seriously, it’s not just Stan you know!

    Put a few splatters across the canvas and call it Bollock.

  6. Stan Says:

    Oy! Wellington. You’re cruising for a fat lip, me old cyber-china.

    I agree with Stripey – you should write, NK. And keep your hands off my knife.

  7. nursemyra Says:

    we just had new flooring laid at the gimcrack. the layer’s apprentice was seriously hot. He was also way too young for nursemyra.

    come over here and lay some carpet……..

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