Mind you, I’d say that Lisa must be rather remarkable to have endured it for as long as she did. I’m sure she enjoyed the company of your non-naked self also, but what the heck use is that in a casual sex-orientated relationship?

A belated good luck to you on the getting laid side of things. I reckon you ought to get cracking with that. Make the most of peace in Basra while it lasts.

Should be easier than usual to get some sex in Burnley at the moment, shouldn’t it? What with all the football related rejoicing going on there right now. Surely the locals are all drinking and dancing in the streets, looking for some cock bother?

Pete: Hiya! Drink we must. I might have a Peroni, or Italian Wifebeater as it’s known round these parts. Soul-bearing and cock comparisons a-go-go. And yes, we must bring “the children”.

EmmaK: Thanks for the good wishes towards my cock. I will be sure to pass them on. I know I should have posted a photo. Sadly, my penis now looks like Scarlett Johansson, so wouldn’t make a suitable accompaniment to the words. Man!

mine’s a cider:-)

So, I guess that leaves me with either your willy or your woody.

Let’s talk about Woody. I’m so sorry to hear that he has a cataract. If I were able to I’d give him a puppy cookie to help ease his pain, I would. He’d get all the cookies I could find in the area and then some, even if I had to steal them from small children. A child’s tears mean nothing if they help Woody deal with his cataract!* However, I am happy to know that he’s fine and it’s just one of those dog things, like hip dysplasia, urinary tract infections, & eyes popping out (in the case of pugs.) I’m sure Woody will not let it hold him down! Give him a good scratch behind the ears for me

Ok, onwards!

I find all this talk of your willy fascinating. Circumcised penises are the norm here in the states. So, when I was imagining (due to your vivid imagery-I had no choice) the fissures and rents on a circumcised penis- I was horrified! Then when I realized that you weren’t snipped and thought, “well, that’s not so bad.” Whaaaa? I don’t know why my mind somehow feels that chapping/scabs/fissures are dreadful on a circumcised penis, but not so bad to one that still has it’s foreskin. Thankfully, through some pondering and reflection, I have come up with a reasoning. It’s not a good one, but I think it’s funny- so I’m going to share:

Ahem, “I realized that in my mind an uncircumcised penius has what I equate to rhinoceros hide or perhaps armadillo armor.” I know- Cramazing! Sometimes I’d really like to know just who’s in charge of my thoughts; so I can fire them.

Also, “Cock Bother”- I read that and immediately the melody for B-52’s Rock Lobster song started playing…

Lastly, perhaps this is one reason you have so much phallic imagery in a lot of your art. Perhaps it stems from the fact that you have been dealing with this chapping since pubescence…Just a thought… and we know how stupid those can be (see above)

Anyhow, I’m glad that your cock woes are over on the physical front & good luck on causing some on the emotional (and also physical) level with some lucky gal round your way.

* I do not steal candy or cookies from children and children’s tears do mean something.